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We failed to help a bright student: Teaching Memoir

Posted on November 30, 2020October 26, 2021 By Ajay Lilrain
1,488 View

Society is divided into many castes, classes, communities, faiths and religions; poverty is one of the classes- very potent and brutal capable to ruin the career of the most genius minds.

My profession is ample with laughter, tears, emotions and stress but my teaching memoirs are also filled with helplessness.

Reason of Helplessness

Girl education in India was a mirage in early nineteenth century.  It was the determination of Savitri Bai Phule, that made the dream of girl education in India, a reality. She is the one of the most powerful women this soil had ever given birth to.

But if someone says in 21st century, we are still struggling for girl education, it will seem unrealistic. Girls are still forced to leave their education and studies. I am sharing one of my memoirs that shakes me even today. 

This is my fourth year of posting at my present institution. This is a story of a girl [I do not want to share her name], very bright and intuitive and sincerely said, “I was impressed with her catching power”.

She always remained silent in class-room. Whenever I was teaching, she listened carefully. It seems she was just not listening but comprehending the concepts at the same time.

Most of my fellow teachers had the same observation for the girl. She was bright not only in one subject but also in all subjects. She was exceptional. In an interaction in the class-room, she always gave positive response to the question asked by me.

But yes, she first heard the question, took some time and then answer and surprisingly, she was always correct.

In her last year of schooling, in the mid-session, we started observing a depressive attitude in the girl. Indeed she was answering questions, remain silent as usual but her eyes had some helplessness. She wanted to share something but always remain silent.

I discussed about the girl with my fellow teacher Mrs. Sharma. She is indeed the most favorite teacher among girls. A caring woman like a mother.

We were aware about her depressive attitude. I asked her to do some ground level research without ever involving her parents and family.

After 5 days, she had the whole research and information about the girl. She has one more sister, elder than her. Parents wanted to marry the elder girl initially but changed their mind later on.

Someone told them to marry both sisters at once. This was a great idea for them.

They found suitable match for both the girls. They were also brothers. Elder one was working but younger one was not employed anywhere. But still they agreed on the proposal.

Finally before the annual examination, the girl was going to be married with a boy, still unemployed & dependent on their family. She cannot revolt at home because nobody were listening her.

She had no enough courage to do something extra-ordinary like Santosh Yadav did in the same conditions.

I taught her ‘Reach for the Top’ lesson with the stories of Evelyn Glennie and Santosh Yadav. I told her about the achievements of Santosh Yadav. She run away from her home when their parents were planning to marry her.

Santosh Yadav survived by doing tuition at Delhi. She was so optimistic and passionate for her life that she became the first Women ever climbed on Mount Everest.

I taught her success stories of Santosh but failed to make her Santosh Yadav. We were seeing her deteriorating everyday from inside. We decided to do something for her.

I told Mrs. Sharma to talk the girl. We wanted her to speak. Silence was dangerous for her own life.

“I wanted to study but I think I will never chase my dreams ever in my life again. It’s over now.”

Whenever I remember these words, a shiver engulfs me, even today.

We decided to call her father for a meeting. Indeed we knew, this will not be a welcome decision by their parents and family. They can consider our attempt as an unnecessary intrusion in their private decisions.

He said yes for the meeting but he did not come two times. we kept trying.

One day, when finally meeting was scheduled, an exigency made Mrs. Sharma on casual leave. I wanted to inform him for cancellation of the meeting but I decided not to cancel the meeting & I made my mind to meet him alone.

It was a difficult decision because he decided to meet us after our continuous efforts. I did not want to miss the chance.

It was also very abnormal for a male teacher talking about the life of a girl student in front of their parents knowing social structure of that area is not that accepting.

Meeting

When he came for the meeting. Initially i was feeling hesitant. Later i tried my best to tell him about the girl’s mindset, her aspirations and possible bright future.

He listened carefully and said, “I am not that rich sir. I do have my own problems. If she wanted to study, marriage cannot be a barrier for her.”

I tried to convey our concern for her career by saying that money cannot be a problem. We, the whole staff of this institution will do all possible thing for her education. Later, she will be capable enough to handle all expenses by her own.

I urged to reconsider his decision to marry the girl at this crucial phase of her life and career.He left the meeting but I have only this little solace when he said.

Sir, Marriage is fixed and I took the decision after deliberation. But I commit not to marry her in this mid-session. I will try to postpone the marriage till her examinations.

We were planning to choose legal ways but the girl was not minor. Discussions and social pressure were our choices.

We came to know about a person, closely related to their family, and he was also a teacher. That person could be a jackpot for us.

We decided to meet him for the sake of girl’s career. It was so unfortunate when he said, “If you are saying, I will talk to her parents but I know nothing will change. You worries are worthless. If she wanted to study, she can pursue it after marriage too.”

He did not respond to us again. We were witnessing the dreams of the girl shattering like a mirror after falling on the hard surface. We could hear the clamor of her aspirations. She looked towards us with a hope and we wanted to keep her faith in us alive.

“Do not bow ahead worse situation. This is the real time to check our character.” We try to motivate her always. Annual examinations were near. On her farewell, I told her. “Do not give up ever. I wanted to see you on the top one day.”

She just smiled with pain in her eyes and left. We were deputed for some other place for examination duties. She appeared in the examinations and suddenly due to COVID-19 and lockdown, everything changed.

Few days earlier, Mrs. Pushpa Sharma sent me a picture of the marriage of both sisters. I remember her words again.

“I wanted to study but I think I will never chase my dreams ever in my life again. It’s over now.”

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